I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
