5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
