Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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