I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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