id be glad to
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize