Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
