sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
