so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
