Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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