dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize