twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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