i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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