He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
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I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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