YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
