we have pet lesbian snakes
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
