He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
