I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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