left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize