What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
