The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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