my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize