i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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