I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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