I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
