Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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