I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
