I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
