You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
