I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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