How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
