I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize