He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The adults are the big ones right?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
