my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
