Your tits are I can't wait for
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
