piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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