Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
