We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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