Grow some girl-balls and come out already
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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