Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
