i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
