ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
