I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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