ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
