Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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