she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
