If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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