3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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