jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
