She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
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Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
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It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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