nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
