Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
