we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
