my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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