No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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