I heard we made out
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
