he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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