I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
