woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
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I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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