Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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