I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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