what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
