I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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