Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
