Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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