worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize