the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
