Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
